Fire and Commitment

February 10, 2019
UU Utica
(This service included slides which are, unfortunately, lost to time and technology.)

Welcome

Prelude

Call to Worship
by Rumi 

You were born with potential.
You were born with goodness and trust. 
You were born with ideals and dreams. 
You were born with greatness.
You were born with wings.
You are not meant for crawling,
so don’t.
You have wings.
Learn to use them and fly.

Hymn of the Month #1015 I Know I Can

Chalice Lighting
by  Maureen Killoran

Love is the aspiration, the spirit that moves and inspires this faith we share.
Rightly understood, love can nurture our spirits and transform the world.
May the flame of this chalice honor and embody the power and the blessing of the love we need, the love we give, the love we are challenged always to remember and to share.

Reflection

“Love in Greek”

Think for just a moment about all of the people you love.  As you think about it, I anticipate you might realize that our English word “Love” has a lot of different applications. A love you feel for your parents isn’t the same kind of love you feel for your best friend.  If you’re an adult in a long-term relationship, you might remember the love you felt for your partner feeling different when you first met than it does now.  

We use one word for all of these types of love, which can get confusing.  Have you ever told someone that you love them, stopped yourself, and explained that kind of love that you meant?  I have, many times.

The ancient Greeks, however, had six words where we only have one.  These six words were not sub-categories - each one had its own specific meaning.

Philautia (Fi-law-tia) is the love of self.  It is knowing that you are worthwhile for no other reason than being who you are.  The Greeks acknowledged that there is another aspect of Philautia, which is being obsessed with yourself.  But, let’s focus on the self-love that shines brightly.

Ludus is a playful sense of love.  The joy and love in the act of being playful together, such as children experience, or the sense of camaraderie experienced being on a team together or going out for fun.  Flirtation is also an example of Ludus.

Pragma is a mature love.  The love that partners experience because they know each other so well and for so long.  It is knowing what your partner is going to say next or the sense of simple comfort sitting together in silence.

Eros is lust or physical passion.  When we think of romance, it frequently resides in the realm of Eros.

Philia, which is the ancient Greek word we now most directly connect to love, refers to the love experienced in friendship. 

And, finally, Agape.  This is a selfless love.  It is love for the wholeness of the world, a love of humanity.  A spiritual sense of Love is Agape.

Our time together this morning will explore these six Greek words we would translate as Love.

Story of Philautia  (Read by Carol)
”I Like Myself” by Karen Meaumont (adorable children’s picture book)

Offertory

Story of Ludus (Read by Jay)  

“The Two Friends”  by Sophia Lyon Fahs

Community Candles

Story of Eros (Performed by Dan)
from Romeo and Juliet by W. Shakespeare

from Act 1 Scene 5
ROMEO
To Third Servingman.
What lady’s that which doth enrich the hand
Of yonder knight?

THIRD SERVINGMAN
I know not, sir.

ROMEO
O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright!
It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night
As a rich jewel in an Ethiop’s ear—
Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear!
So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows,
As yonder lady o’er her fellows shows.
The measure done, I’ll watch her place of stand,
And touching hers, make blessed my rude hand.
Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight!
For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.

Story of Philia  
”Damon & Pythias” by Sophia Lyon Fahs

Hymn #1008 When Our Heart Is in a Holy Place

Story of Agape
“The Good Samaritan” by Christopher Buice 

Reflection
”Fire and Commitment” by Rev. Erin Dajka Holley

This week, many of us will mark Valentine’s Day, which my spouse terms “Singles Awareness Day.”  A day that our society sets aside to uplift an idea of Love, usually in a romantic sense, a celebration of Eros.  This is a time for bold romantic gestures, expensive dates, and passion.  While I fully support living into Eros in appropriate ways and with the full consent of all involved, I present five other concepts related to love to remind us of its complicated nature.

Because love is complicated.  It is challenging.  Love requires trust.

The self-love of Philautia challenges many adults and young people because in order to engage it, we must fully trust that we are at our core worthy of love.  I was taught in subtle ways throughout my life that I am not enough, that my central identity is one of brokenness.  I have struggled to keep any positive sense of my self in check, to make sure that I have not stumbled into narcissism.  Even as I clearly preach that every person is inherently worthwhile, that there is goodness at the root of every human soul, a part deep inside of me wonders whether that is true of myself.  Can I trust that I am worthy of loving myself?  Yes.  And, yet.  This is the struggle.

Playful love with others, Ludus, also requires trust.  We must trust that the play is meant for everyone’s fun, and is not at the expense of one or more, or of ourselves.  Is the laughter shared, or directed at me?  Are we flirting, or are you trying to gain an advantage?  There must be a shared understanding and trust for Ludus to be the fun and loving joy that we want it to be.

Pragma is entirely about trust over time.  It is the deepest sense of full trust, that the depth of feeling has continued for years, and it has fallen into familiar patterns that we must believe are shared without being feigned.  It is the trust that the relationship will change only in ways that hold it together.  

The trust within acts of Eros resides in consent.  Those participating trust one another to act out passion in loving ways, not abusive ones.  Eros holds great power because within it there is also vulnerability and risk.  There is joy in desire, but also danger.  What joy it is, when the trust is there, and the expressions of love and passion come to fruition.

Our story of Philia this morning demonstrated a love and trust that literally put lives on the line.  To connect deeply with another person, even as friends, requires that trust, that continuing, unwavering commitment.}

All six of these words for love include an element of trust.  Trust yourself.  Trust those around you not to hurt you.  Trust that physical expressions of love and desire will be safe and without abuse.  Trust that your partner and friends will not betray you.  All of these types of love require that trust.

And, To love the world, to act on Agape, requires trust that goodness may pervade.  It is the trust that nineteenth century Unitarian minister Theodore Parker expresses in a sermon, “I do not pretend to understand the moral universe.  The arc is a long one.  My eye reaches but little ways.  I cannot calculate the curve and complete the figure by experience of sight.  I can divine it by conscience.  And from what I see I am sure it bends toward justice.”  Yes, Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King paraphrased this, and his paraphrase was woven into the rug on the floor of the Oval Office while President Obama was in office.

And, the sentiment continues to be an expression of trust and of hope.  It also is a statement of commitment.  I know that over time we are headed for justice, which is why I will work for it, why I will Love this world and all of its people and take action to bring forth justice.  I know that I must inspire others to do the same, and they must inspire others yet for the work to continue.  My love come to life in this world, my actions of Agape, are only a small piece on this longest of arcs, longer than the arc of the shape of the earth that you can barely discern from the top of tall mountains.  With my actions, and your actions, and the actions of young people, and the actions of their children and their children on and on, we must trust that there will be justice.  We must trust that it matters throughout the history that is to come, that there will be a time when all people are treated with dignity and respect, when everyone’s needs are met, when Love abounds beyond measure.

Let us celebrate the Fiery Passion of Eros and Valentine’s Day, but let that mature, as well, and develop into a faithful commitment to Loving the Hell out of the world, in good Universalist fashion.  We are a people of Love - we are a people of Philautia, Ludus, Pragma, Eros, Philia, and Agape.  We are committed to one another and this world, in Love.

So may it be.  Amen.

Closing Hymn #1028 Fire of Commitment

Extinguishing the Chalice

Benediction
by Becca Reynolds

May love permeate your every heartbeat
May faith guide your every step
May truth and compassion be your Eternal traveling companions
And may a deep, abiding Spirit rest joyously
In your every waking wish
And your every resting dream

Postlude