Biography

I do not think of myself as part of the Millennial generation; nor do I think of myself as part of Gen-X. Born in Rockford, Illinois in 1982, I slipped in directly between the two. Maybe it is not such a surprise that I have deviated from the norms of either generation, as my father was fifty-two and my mother thirty-two when I entered the world. In many ways, I thrive on being a little different from the norm. 

We lived in a little cape cod house in a predominantly white, post-WWII neighborhood of houses almost exactly like it. My father, Frank Dajka, retired from quality control, and before that a 20-year enlisted Army career, by the time I was a toddler.  Becoming a stay-at-home dad, he strove to provide me with all of the tools I might need to live a full and enriching life.

My mother, Teresa Wilmot, worked as a buyer, first in first aid kits and later generic pharmaceuticals. She has enriched my life in many ways, and let me uplift two. The first is Unitarian Universalism, as she joined the Unitarian Universalist Church of Rockford, Illinois, while pregnant with me.  The second is music. My mother is a semi-professional violist in local symphonies, and she had me start cello lessons when I was three. My first real cello was one-eighth size.

These two gifts of church and music came together for us when I joined her in the church choir by the time I was eight, and they have continued, including playing together in a quartet for the Sunday morning service at General Assembly in Louisville a few years ago. My parents remain in that same cape cod house, going to church together every week.

School for me was always a place of being set apart. I started Kindergarten in the Gifted Program, switched to the Creative and Performing Arts program, and attended high school at Keith Country Day School, a very small, private, college-preparatory school. These programs provided me the space to grow academically as well as in the arts, and I excelled. I was also a little different than most of the other children. As I excelled, I stood out to my peers. My appearance was unusual with hair kept boyishly short until it grew into a frizzy mass of brushed-out curls. I dressed practically, never for style.  I was raised by my parents and church to value kindness, and so I could never navigate in the world of cruelty so common among young girls. My friends were few, I was often left out, and I knew deep sadness. I came to truly value feeling connected to those around me. 

Grinnell College was a new experience, where I found other people who were different in the same ways as me. It was a selective, liberal school filled with students who cared about the challenge of academic life as well as expressing themselves fully as individuals. I found a group of friends, and many of them are still a part of my life today. My academic exploration led me to major in Religious Studies, and my rich spiritual life brought me into leadership of the Unitarian Universalist group on campus. In this environment, I felt my call to ministry.

I began my seminary training at Meadville-Lombard Theological School immediately following college 2004-2005. I cherish the connections that I formed that year and the strong groundwork that it lay for my ministry. It was not, however, the right time or place for me, and I do not regret taking a leave of absence to care for myself after that year. 

A romantic relationship brought me to Akron, Ohio, where I lived for a year and a half. While there, I become a leader in the Unitarian Universalist church, worked as a legal secretary, and played cello in two rural symphonies. This time was a step in my life that led me to where I needed to be. I was unhappy in the relationship, the job, and the city. Eventually, a friend from college convinced me to leave all of it behind and move to Minneapolis, which I did in January of 2007.

Minneapolis became more of a home for me than my hometown. I found work with another lawyer, delved into First Universalist Church as a member of the choir and soon a leader of the young adult group (FUYAG), and was welcomed into a group of friends from college and their wider circle. Through these friends, I met my spouse, Neil. He works as a software engineer, has enjoyed studying martial arts, and has taught classes in the circus art of aerial silks. 

Neil encouraged me to follow my renewed call to ministry in 2009, and I transferred to United Theological Seminary of the Twin Cities. The place and the time were right. United’s ecumenical setting allowed me to understand liberal Christianity and its strengths for the first time. While I experienced being different yet again in this context, I was able to enjoy the opportunity to enrich and be enriched by our diversity of experiences. 

After completing my studies and then my internship in Peoria, Illinois, I returned to Minneapolis and immediately began planning our wedding, which was on November 4, 2013. As we stated in our vows, one of our utmost goals in our marriage is to grow together, becoming the people we believe we can be.  I spent the following two years pursuing personal growth and engaging in deep discernment prior to visiting the Ministerial Fellowship Committee and then completing a Clinical Pastoral Education residency program.

My year of chaplain residency challenged me to truly define myself as an individual and a minister.  I am continually thankful for the engagement and support of my CPE group, who pushed me and held me in love at the same time.  I learned that while I enjoy providing pastoral care, my place in ministry is with a congregation.  There is good news in religious community.

 My first call was as settled minister to the 100-member Unitarian Universalist Church of Utica, NY. In that ministry, I grew the congregation and the budget, and we made steps toward being a greater presence in the community for justice.

My calling is to again serve a Unitarian Universalist church, bolstered by a firm belief in the power of human connection to help all of us to make meaning out of the chaos by which we are surrounded.

As my interests are many and varied, learn about them here.